I'm Fine (Are You Sure​?​)

by htdw

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And in every moment I felt closer to her, everything only began to hurt more.


released June 27, 2017



all rights reserved


htdw New Brunswick, New Jersey

haircuts are symbolism for conformity

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Track Name: The Pressures of a Wilting Flower
close my eyes
the wounded bird cries
let the sunlight in
burning and decaying

was it something i said?
or was it all in my head?
leave me the way you found me
a caged bird wanting to be free

red stains on the floor
holes in the screen door
let the life rot away
not that it was there, anyway

lift the weight off my heart
and leave it on the rope
this love is an art
but this painter had no hope

tears will water the earth
this loss won't hurt
a mind with no heart
a love torn apart

take it away
it's grown too tired
this love, in someway
was not to be admired

poured into the rain
you'll never be sad again
hide me away from the light
and everything will be alright
Track Name: Washed Out
river current drowns the noise
carry me away with your voice
her hair shines like the midday sun
tell me i'm the one

river current sinks me away
hold you another day
the flowers grow for you
and your wonderful eyes of blue

river's eternal song
without you it's been too long
drown me
your love will set me free

o river current
hold the water
o river current
hold it for her
Track Name: You'll Remember, She'll Forget
what would you give to be happy again?
what would you give to feel loved again?
what would you give to not be her pain?
if only you could refrain...

other people's happiness is not your sadness
other people's love is not your hatred
it is you whom you must face
when you find your heart slowing its pace

who could be our biggest obstacle,
other than ourselves?
who could be our biggest disappointment,
other than ourselves?

other people's happiness is not your sadness
other people's love is not your hatred
it is you whom you must face
when you ask why everyone's left your life without a trace

your sadness is other people's sadness
your hatred is other people's hatred
it is you whom you must change
if you ever want to start a new page...
Track Name: You're Getting Older, But Your Memories Are Immortal
i won't forget
the day we first met
i couldn't regret
the love i gave you

i wish i could remember
when i stopped loving her
i should've known better
than to believe in us two

love is sacrifice, isn't it?
pain is progress, isn't it?
the love is gone, isn't it?
and now, you're gone too

didn't know what happiness was
or what it should be
didn't want to leave, because
i wanted you to be happy

long forgotten, the love that was
never seen, the love that'll be
didn't want to live, because
i wanted you to be happy

this song is long overdue
you're not the girl i once knew
and i wish i could say i lost you
but, i never had you.
Track Name: Painting With the Signature Erased
you couldn't hear me
you couldn't see me
you couldn't love me

but that's okay
how i feel don't matter anyway...

i wouldn't go near me
i wouldn't want to know me
i wouldn't have been me

but that's okay
how i feel don't matter anyway...

it shouldn't feel like this
it shouldn't be like this
i shouldn't even live like this

but that's okay
how i feel don't matter anyway...

don't look for me
cause when you call
i'll be free
cause i'll be buried away from it all...
Track Name: Even When
your eyes were so pretty
even when mine filled with tears
having you changed my reality
even if i came crashing down after all those years

your voice was angelic
even if it never said ‘i love you'
my heart beat for you like music
even if you never knew

your smile made me smile
even when my smile made you frown
my time was on your dial
even when brought down

I thought I knew what love meant
even when i only felt pain
to this day, I still feel every dent
you left in my heart time and again

I thought I knew what care was
even when all I received was hate
to this day, all your memory does
is remind me I'm too late

I thought I knew what beauty was
even when I didn’t want to look at the mirror
to this day, all our photo does
is remind me of how I lost her

I thought I knew you
even when you never saw me
to this day, all I can do
is hope one day I'll be happy
Track Name: Lover's Paradise
what's the worry?
everyone's in a hurry
continuous race
against the clock face

worrying is a mistake
life's all just one take
forget the script
headed towards the same pit

let the happiness shine
everything's fine
blue eyes of the sea
the only ones for me

no lights on
only this heart's love
she's here; worries gone
peaceful like a dove

be with me
forget the rest
i promise you'll be happy
perfect and nothing less
Track Name: Petrichor
raindrops in your hourglass
too late to dry our hair
the storm will pass
through the leak in the tear

listen to the sky
the clouds cry for you
birds still fly
like I did when it was just us two

patch on your shirt
torn off this heart
rainwater doesn't hurt
no need for us to part

pour the life down
laying in the wet grass
buried in the ground
heart of glass

dry this earth
and the tears, too
dry this earth
sun will shine for you
Track Name: Learn to Love Brown Eyes
visions of blue
brown eyes stuck on you
may be not what you want
but you're all i need

shine upon me
warm the earth and sea
lost in your hair
without you it's not fair

truthful heart
this love will grow
you are the art
I want the world to know

worries never came
when she stayed
a love I couldn't tame
only masterpiece I've ever made

a beauty to remember
my medicine was her
only her voice
my only right choice
Track Name: Love Needs You
lose me in your hair
like how I got lost in the sea
I saw in your blue eyes’ glare
stay with me, and we'll be happy

remind me what love is
my heart stops when I'm near you
I couldn't really explain this
but I know you feel it too

all my stuttering didn't surprise you
I was nervous
my mistakes were true
I made them for us

you have a beautiful voice
especially when you say my name
falling for you wasn't a choice
but now life just isn't the same

I'll fall for you
over and over again
and I know you'll fall too
but there won't be any pain

you'll be mine
and I'll be yours
and we'll be fine
as the rain pours